There will be a point in time that all you want is a cat

That's a fact! I just found out that particular fact recently when Ahmad and Maryam were insisting for having a pet. We did not expect anything but later it was completely took us all with surprise especially myself that I am a cat lover. It really got into me that these two furry animals are not just cats to me; they are much more than that. I mean I got it for them but somehow I got more excited than everyone else in the house; let alone my other three daughters who still “geli geleman” with the sights of the two beautiful and adorable cats.

I for one used to have many cats around when I was growing up. My mom and dad loved animals so much that they would come home with a stray cat from the pasar sometime. But we did not really care well for the cats; not really have any reason to give them proper care or place to lounge. The cats were free to roam the house, sleep any where they like , getting our food from under the saji and litter everywhere. I did not know that a cat can be trained to litter properly or groomed for healthier fur or properly fed for a good growth. I did not know that because those things need money and we did not have that much money to spare for the animals. We simply did not have them so the cats just stayed around as much as they like and we fed them fish and rice from the leftovers.

And when the two adorable kittens came , I just accept them as new members of our family. The little ones that I feel better than a baby. Sorry if that sounds so selfish but I really do feel that way. Not that I hate them but the feeling that …” there will be a point in time that all you want is a cat.”

Last time I was awakened by a screeching sound of a baby crying in the middle of the night. And I got really nervous and upset for reasons I did not really know myself. I guess it was the crying part that made me feel hopeless and worried like hell…what if the baby was sick or something, could not digest properly. I was worried about the future of that baby….what will she be like growing up 10 or 15 years from now. I was worried if she could make it at all to be an adult. Every time my children were born I felt like a helpless man carrying loads of things on his back; dragging his feet to the place that he did not know himself where exactly it is. I felt burdened and pinned down with huge responsibilities that I have to carry but could not really endure. I guess that is what the society wants me to do, my mum, my arwah dad, my in-laws and just about everybody in the family circle. To tell you the truth I am a bit tired of that. I am on the last leg of my journey in life; like I am riding a train. The long train journey has only a few stops before I get off; my children will carry on as they have now their own train stops. My train rides were bumpy and noisy and smelly but that was in the past and I have a few great moments to cherish before my last train stop is due.

I just could not handle stress as well as I did a few years ago. A crying baby is a stress call for me now. And definitely a devastating stress if it happened at 3 o'clock in the morning!