A game called “democracy”

In this modern day and age no one dares to neglect the so-called “democracy”. A game that we all play so that in the end some one will win and the losers will go home thinking that the game was fair and square. But in reality we are all scared to death when we play the game. Both sides have every bit of a chance to win and for whatever it takes we can not afford to lose. The subject at stake could be anything from small to enormously huge; and we are mean sometime….the future of a nation could be put at stake. But in the name of the game called “democracy” that is very civilized. So we play along with millions of our money spent(some goonies even spent rm77 millions of poor people money to see one black man in a white house and prove he can play the game very well!) and sometime the lives of our countrymen lost to protect the stupid game. We endured the challenges so the world will see us as one of them not some barbaric bunch of people doing their own little things. I call this democracy thing a game because of its very nature where people can be very good at it, manipulate everything to win his cause and get away with clean hands----fair and square? For the uninitiated that’s the way how democracy goes but for a seasoned player it’s the game people play---so win the game to champion democracy. Ironically, democracy is so generic that you can put any mask on it and people still can identify it as the true nature of a modern and civilized world.

I had a brief experience leading a small association and wanted so badly to play this game called “democracy” right to the letters. I did not “play-play” or get into the hanky-pangky of things just played it bare and plain. I even put up a blank face so everyone can relate and let the democracy things play the role in every aspect of our decision making process. It was naively stupid thing to do and ended up a sore loser, isolated to lick the bleeding wounds. People don’t play the game that way as I later found out; for people to play their hearts out the game must be fun and interesting. Just like any other game it would be dull and boring if everyone play by the rules, right? People look for a good fight, a back-stabbing drama, some good ‘ol ass-kicking, name-callings, fcukers and suckers…..or something along that nature. And if you are not that kind of person better stay out of this game. Last weekend I had an opportunity to attend meeting to select a surau committee at my housing area. It’s a small surau but even here the game of democracy is played so well I thought it’s a joke. It was well planned with call for meeting well in advance and preparation to register voters being done so well. I thought we have all matured over the years and this gonna be a really “fair and square” game. How naïve I could ever be? Over the years people do not grow up in this but have got better and better manipulating it. I laughed myself although I did not find it funny at all. We were “told” to wait for the signal then cast the vote accordingly. Never go against the majority or refute the chairman. Apparently the chairman had understood the situation on how the meeting would end. And so the meeting went without any “glitches and bumps”. Everyone was happy. And that includes those who were not there but got nominated and won! As if no one among all 200 who attended the meeting is no better than those people. What a joke!
A clear indication that there is an invisible hand trying to squabble with the running of our surau. Maybe I sound a bit disappointed for not being nominated myself but honestly that is not it. Time and time again we are talking about the liberty of our own thoughts and actions without any influence from outside people; this is it . If those nominations have been premeditated, supported and won; we can never be free. The real democracy is to free our minds and actions from any foreign influence where we decide what we want and who we want to do it. We set our own agenda and execute it to the best of our ability for our own good. If in this small isolated exercise we still depend on others to make decisions then by God in Heavens when are we going to learn. We can never be free.

I am new to the surau and its surrounding community; but now I have a clear picture on how things are run and executed. The true picture is as ugly as I never thought it would be. How the minds are manipulated and the actions are fabricated. How some people have gone all the way to protect everything they believe have their names on it; for them to make sure things are as they should be. Forgetting that the surau is a public place (a house of God) for everybody to come and worship the God they believe in. So that it will not fall into some false hands that will lock it down for some strange reasons. Maybe there is a hidden agenda to foresee a bigger cause that will happen in a distant future. I don’t know but I am still soaking up the meaning of it all and the reasons behind the results after that fateful meeting.


Not far from here in Hulu Selangor, people are facing a bigger and more serious picture of the same game called “democracy”. But the clash between two or more ideologies would make the game over there more interesting and relevant to reality. A lot of seasoned players will converge to put up shadow plays and pick up some credits for their own self along the way. In the end the quiet town of KKB will remain quiet and people will be left to pick up the garbage left by the town folks as they leave for their luxury homes in the city. Just like after any other game, the players as well as the spectators will leave the field with their winning smiles or wounded hearts. No one remains except the local people wondering what do they get from all of this mess?

EGM at Surau Al Taqwa Seksyen 7 Shah Alam

So it’s the time again that we will pick the surau committee to manage and organize all activities at the surau to benefit the surrounding community.It seems uneventful but believe me the meeting will be a hot one. There’re already lobbying activities going on as the event is still more than two weeks away. There are people who will go all the way to make sure their team will sit in the committee. I mean what is there to fight after all this is only a surau. Well folks this is no ordinary surau and sect 7 shah alam is no ordinary community.That’s what they say, whatever that means. For me it’s just like any other surau and I go there to do my prayers, that’s all.Some people want the surau to be something else and when a lot of things are going on; the surau will be a bit complex in nature.I guess that will be good for everyone including myself so I shouldn’t be complaining.

So far the surau is doing fine. The ceramahs are on most of the time and the five daily prayers are gaining more safs everytime. The Ramadhan and Qurban were celebrated without a miss; so if I had it my way I would have just retained the old committee and get on with our regular activities.The committee has lined up a few big names that have come our way such as the Mufti of Perak, Ust Hassan Mahmood al hafiz, Ust Ravi, Ann Wang Seng, YB Dr Zul, YB Dr Mujahid, YB Rantau Panjang in addition to our monthly Kuliah from Ust Nazmi, Ust Amran, Ust Aleh, Ust Halim Din, Ust Azahar UIA, Ust Heryanto, Ust Muhaimin, Ust Fadhil, and a few others. It was quite active and every night it has become a routine to prepare for the kuliah as the timetable is available 1st day of the month. It’s hard to keep your notes updated as each ustaz will see you once a month and by the next lesson you may have forgotten the last one. A new and more structured way of learning should be in place and this is one thing that I would like to see done by the new committee.

I moved to Section 7 about five years ago and I’ve seen many things have changed at the surau over the years. Last time when I arrived for the solah (especially Maghrib) there would always be a circle just beside the entrance where people chatted and smoked. This is a regular scene at a surau in my kampong many many years ago. So when I saw it here I said Oh no not here also……everytime you want to go in then you have to greet every single one in the circle; especially if you are a new member of the community I really didn't feel comfortable with that because for me it is just nothing but a waste of time. Besides, I don’t smoke. But today alhamd that circle has disappeared, all the chairs are gone and people don’t sit around anymore. I think that’s a big improvement and, unless the new committee feels the need to reminiscent, things are good as they are.The surau is air-conditioned; very comfortable in fact that was the first surau I went into that has an air-conditioning system….only in Shah Alam. And the people are very generous; the tabung could see a few hundred dollars collected every night during the kuliah maghrib alone. The Gazza fund was nearly RM30K where RM17K was collected cash during that night alone. And every year they have a Golf tournament going on and that will contribute about RM12K to the surau fund. All these figures are posted at the surau for everyone to see. Very transparent indeed. And at the moment a renovation is going on and the surau will be spending more than 100K for that; about 50K came from the people and the rest was generously sponsored by a corporate individual.

I am proud to be part of this Surau---Al Taqwa Seksyen 7 Shah Alam.

The Collegiality and Congeniality Test

Collegiality is the ability of faculty members to get along with each other and contribute to the collective good. It is a key component of success within the department and the higher education institution as a whole. Collegiality is also defined as “conducting oneself in a manner that does not impinge upon the ability of one’s colleagues to do their jobs or on the capacity of one’s instituion to fulfill its mission”.

Congeniality is the ability of being pleasant and friendly; agreeable, amiable, supportive and cordial; and possessing good and effective interpersonal skills.

This is to be my new knowledge that one has to pass the tests in order to be conferred a professorship in UiTM. I guess it is also new to everyone else as this is a pilot study. I am not sure about this exercise to tell you the truth. First of all who are we to judge their characters and personality. Second of all, even if you go ahead and put the down the ticks, how strong is it going to impact the decision. I am looking at the consequences a few years down the road. The guilt that would overcome you for the decision you had made. How long the borang will be kept safe and confidential ? I have returned the form personally so my name is forever there for anybody to go back and look at it. A professor might someday be the dean/ the boss with absolute authority to revisit the old records and all. I am worried that it will come back and make a full circle; and that evil urge to get even somehow crossed his/her mind. I don’t want to suck up and give everyone the best scores because if that’s the case then there is no need for this stupid survey, we just give away whatever scores they need. I want to give my objective and honest views but I’m gonna be very sad to see someone being downgraded due to my honesty. I am in a very difficult position.

Are we making things more difficult? Because as far as I know the procedures are as daunting as it can be already. The academic merit is difficult to gain already and now you want the candidates to go around and smile to everyone some more. And is it fair to deny the professorship just because of his/her weird personality? Be real folks! It’s not gonna happen. So in the end this exercise is nothing but making our lives more difficult.

...so that’s why I can understand if someone finds it a bit akward to fill up the form.

Ps: thinking how people would fill up my form...if that would ever happen!

A Good Weekend …

1. Jogged a good distance with my wife(Sat and Sun).
2. Attended akikah at my friend’s house.
3. Did not spoil the class lecture although I had to wait for one hour for the students to turn up(Yes one hour!)---weekend class for part-timers is so pathetic!
4. A good reunion in the evening.
5. My daughter Aqeelah was back for the weekend with friend.
6. Took Ariefah to her drama practice.
7. Dropped Ahmad at his friend’s
8. Roasted chicken for lunch.
9. Successfully put up two blinds at the front porch(my primary weekend project)
10. Cleaned up my little garden (favorite!)

11. Drove Aqeelah back to college.
12. Picked up Ariefah and Ahmad back.
13. Stayed for kuliah Maghrib---a good one
14. still have some money left in the bank account (usually it’s gone before the actual month has not even started….)
15. and still got sometime to write up this blog

Nothing fancy but I like it because it’s STRESS FREE----isn’t that what “weekend” is all about!

Where has it gone?

I am talking about my time. I don’t have the time to update my blog anymore. It is so frustrating. The day seems shorter than ever and the night is always the end of the day. Am I getting slower or does the world around me move faster? I am confused now. The thing is that I hate to have that “ things to do” list. People say that to manage your time well you need to have “lists”; so that you can arrange to do this and that properly. I have tried to follow that “things to do today” list and it’s just a daunting task for me. I felt like a slave of your own manifestation. I want to be free and surprise myself with “the last minute” decisions to do this and that. If I felt so lazy than be it; in my terms there is always the next time. Maybe you think that this is not a good habit; but you know what---the heck with it, I live my own life and don’t really give a damn about what other people think. Sounds like a grumpy ol’man, doesn’t it?

Time does fly fast. It would be faster if you wait for something. You wait for your son to get into school or your maid to arrive or your new car to drive. Do you know what would be the craziest and scariest wait of all? You wait for your retirement! Which has been on my mind for so many times. I wanted to avoid it but it just kept coming. For many of us retirement is for old people, very old indeed---it is the beginning of an end, of life!. I guess it is time to embrace the reality of life; the one like any other has the beginning and the end. It sounds so sad, doesn’t it? Well don’t be, because I am happy where I am now which is in the position to embrace the future. I love myself, my family and my friends; life just could not be better. For now I don’t fancy much, just a day without stress would be the happiest day for me.I don’t want to get busy doing other people’s task or making things up so you look busy. From dawn to dusk I would be with my thoughts; taking myself away from the stress-infested world around me.and at home after nine I would tell everyone that Abah has shut off for the day---no more noisy requests or reminders or news (good or bad), everything has to move over to tomorrow. No more business for the day.

I have no time to enjoy the TV anymore; which is my greatest hobby. Maybe some of you might want to know that in the old days the favourite hobby of any child on this planet is to watch TV. Another one is reading but that is just to cover up the fact that you are a lazy bum with no future. It is a rare scene nowadays to see me glued to the TV screen and laughed or cried with the show. For one there are too many channels to choose from, and second, nothing really excites me. With the heavy censorship you could hardly enjoy the exclamation of a feeling such as love…because it’s always sealed with a kiss. And a distorted kiss is just like a monkey puckering her mate…so distasteful. During my college days in the US, I like to watch American football. The game runs for three to four hours and I stayed on to enjoy it for the whole time. I just could not imagine to do that nowadays. I guess life has changed as you grow up. But there are a lot of stupid drama on TV….samarinda, lestari etc. The same old stories with the same old faces doing the some old stupid storyline. I really hate them; it’s very rare to get a good drama on air.


Anyway I cherish my good times with friends and family. I’ve made a few mistakes but most of the time I feel that I was protected. Alhamdulillah. And now I can see myself to be that old man with a white kupiah manning a counter of a kedai runcit in the remote village somewhere in Kelantan …..what a wonderful life!

Time to reconnect?

The use of facebook , tweeter and other social networking has enable us to find and reconnect with old friends,ex-classmates, ex-students and ex-teachers. It is a very exciting moment to reconnect with the past again.After so many years of saying goodbye we have come back to meet again. I have enjoyed the moments in many occasions since I joined FB about a year ago. I have met my old friends again, my students from a decade ago and someone I met somewhere ( I was completely blank about this guy). The way the technology reconnects us all is amazing until you come down to the reality of things. I have experienced from A to Z of this reconnection thing; I mean, after a long while we saw each other again, reminiscent the old good times, consumed our newly re-established relationship with weekly meetings at the mamak stalls until we hated each other’s guts again. We since have gone separate ways again like we used to 20 years ago and God knows whether we have the time to meet again For now I am happy that we don’t see each other anymore. I realized that over the last 10-20 years we have changed. Life has taught us a lot of things about friendships, values, materials, goals ,thinking, and priorities. When we were a teenager/young adult a long time ago we hardly thought of those things; maybe the things we knew were to have good time and kick some ass for fun. Those were the “good times” that we are very excited to talk about when we reconnect. As if we try to escape from our hard and burdened adult life at the moment to the “easy,feeling times” of the yesteryears. There is nothing wrong; in fact I myself was so indulged into the excitements that I forgot to bring myself back to the current point and time. There was maybe a love episode that happened long time ago;and in that there must be love, hatred, broken hearts, and all ingredients of a good love episode. I did not realize that this episode would come back and haunt us all again. Now that we are married and all, a newly found long-lost love is not going to be pretty. The tears after the reunion is not going to heal the old wounds so easily; it will bleed silently with unbearable pain and agony. And believe me, a 40-year-old-man crying like a baby while driving back from a reunion dinner is not a pretty sight ( so don’t drag your spouse to a reunion party…a short story can be a very long one indeed!). There might also be other things start to pop up like the old scores that never been settled, some bullying incidents that you want to get back, loans that never been paid or punishment for things that you did not do. These things will prop up when the dust of excitement settled down.

One thing I learned was that our reconnection should be on our current terms; and not on “the old values”. If you are married now then the reunion activities should include the family; otherwise better not (just to make the story short). But then it’s no fun isn’t it, to have your kids running around when all you want to do is to recall that first love. A bit difficult to say exactly but you weigh down the goods and the bads and make your decision. This reunion thing is also a temporary bluff because after you realized that this guy or that guy never changed then you will have that half smile again and try to find the escape route to the men’s room. You will see someone try too much to show off that he/she is better than anyone else….duh! I really hate that someone.And the last thing to regret is that now you know you are so damn OLD! ….. nice to meet you again Bro!