What has 'Haj' done to you?

after spending so much time ,money and effort what really the whole thing has done to you ? beside completing the Islamic pillars, does  it change anything ? it should be and supposed to change us in a lot of ways. I guess mostly it depends on how it started ; the first tick that started the whole journey.

after the Haj : at Madinah airport

On The Edge of Insanity

This is not a complain because I believe no one will be listening. This is neither a question because I know there are definitely answers for it ;nor this any quality improvement suggestion because I know things will be the same again next year. This is more of a frustration that I have experienced while going for Haj this year with Tabung haji Muassasah which I know could be done better; we deserved to be treated a lot better. I was placed in Maktab 94 along with other 400 or so jemaah haji (JH) Malaysia. When the journey started from Kelana Jaya, we were taken to the airport with a convoy of buses; whisking through the busy highways with motorists had to stop and gave us the way. We felt so proud and so mighty when everyone tried to take a glimpse of our buses and trying to figure out where we taken to. I guess that’s the only memorable thing about this trip. The charted Saudia plane took off around 1.30 in the morning. It was an old plane with no movies or games to kill the jitters away. When asked , the Indon stewardess harshly told us off with some excuses. She was rude for a cabin crew of an international airline. So there was nothing else to do for the rest of the long flight to Jeddah except sleeping and dreaming for a better day tomorrow.

The morning air in Jeddah was cool and refreshing. An Indon guy came around and offered a prepaid. Ah- he must know this business very well as there is good money in it. I bought one I think and my wife bought hers later on in Makkah. The phone is one thing you must have with you , working and all, all the time. Especially if you have other member of your family with you. Each one must have a working handset---for communication purposes. So that one I think cost me about 40 riyals. We called home and told them we have arrived in Jeddah and everything was Okay. Yes indeed so far things have been surprisingly good. We got on the bus and taken to Makkah to a place called Misfalah about 1.5 km form the Grand Mosque. The place that will be our home for the next month or so. The hotel was good; everything including the bed, the toilet and the airconditioner are in order.

...and the food........

Well,the food was good at first but then after a few days it had started to turn into a squirmish thing stuffed in an aluminium container. We complained but ,you know, when one complaint was replied with a thousand excuses, we knew it was not going anywhere. And Tabung Haji staff just could not do anything other than just giving excuses regarding the massive volume that they have to cater for. Then later the food just not fit for human consumption at all; we could see them all littered around the dustbin and along the alley.

In Arafah, the food was better and tastier. Unfortunately, one JH choked and died while eating the food. Can you imagine the status of medical aid that we had over there? Unbelievably minimal not as we were told during the course that medical help is a non-issue, they have plenty of doctors to go around. Not very true I’m afraid. During the flight back I had a medical emergency and came to know that there was no TH doctor on the flight.

Mina was a nightmare for Maktab 94. We had many senior citizens among us and many had to take medication and that means they have to have their meals on time. On the first day we saw our lunch pack at 7 in the evening and dinner pack at 1 a.m. in the morning. Then when we complained, the second day saw a normal meal time; but then the third day it was a mess again. Again TH staff just could not say much and told us off with some excuses. On the third day we were to leave for Makkah and waited for the bus to come and picked us up. The buses were supposed to come in the morning but not seen until late afternoon. No breakfast or lunch were provided so you can imagine how hungry we all were, running around to catch a bus that was already filled up. Many of us were so exhausted including our pakcik and makcik that never complained because they believed in TH and how TH would never make them suffer. I saw them with a shattered heart and flowing tears; swearing to my dear God that when I returned I would let everyone back home knows the real situation.That’s the motivation for writing this article. I would sent my old mom to haj under TH care because I believed they can take care of her but believe me if she could not run like the others she would be left there alone.The truth is --no one really cared. Usually the the travelling time from Mina to Makkah is about half an hour in a normal day but that day it took us 7-8 hours to reach Makkah. Some of the buses could not reach our hotel as they stucked in the traffic jam; so my pakcik and makcik had to walk for a good distance with the empty stomach and their bags to reach the hotel rooms. And during all these ordeals no one form TH were in sight. No ONE. One of our pakcik had a heart attack due to the stress and died. We offered prayers for him after Fajr the next morning. The thing that I don’t understand is that TH dealt with these circumstances as if they have done it for the first time. I think someone should go to TH headquarters and shake up the building for they have been sleeping for a long time now. It’s time to let them know that the honeymoon time in Makkah and Medina has long passed, they have to buck up and do some work for our pakcik and makcik. The living condition in Mina also was beyond anyone’s imagination. The worst scenario was at the toilets. What would you feel when your bladder was about to explode and you went rushing to the toilet just to see a queue with 5-6 persons infront of you.Terrible is not a good word for it; “^%$#!” is more like it. But JH had their own solution for it by peeing into the mineral bottles. It’s true and the phrase “desperate situations demand desperate measures” was proved in living colors. One makcik from Thailand (we shared the place with JH from Thailand) desperately needed to go but as the queue was long she just did it right there in front of us. I just could not believe my eyes and turned away; my toilet session had turned into something else...it was the edge of insanity.

I passed by an old makcik once ,while in Mina,and wondering why she was runsacking the garbage bin. The bin was full of dirty gluey phlegm, spit and what not.”What are you doing makcik?” I asked in Malay. “Makcik had a gigi palsu on, then makcik coughed and vommited into this bin and lost the gigi palsu with it....I am looking for it now” she said desperately as she dipped into the bin further down. “ Oh My God!” I said to myself a few times. I did not know what to do and pity this makcik but I was not going to dip my hands into that dirty gluey garbage, NO!. That was too much for me. No one from TH was there to help her.I left and did not have a heart to turned and see whether that makcik was still there or not. 

Everytime when TH or any media in Malaysia talk about haj and jemaah haji Malaysia, we are flashed with the smiling faces of JH doing something in Arafah or Mina. The reality is far beyond that and the worst thing is that many of JH believe whatever happened to them is a predetermination and for them to endure such difficulties. I just could not let this whole terrible things to continue, that’s all, because from my experience TH can do a lot better and we, including my pakciks and makciks, deserve a lot better. TH has failed in many areas of this whole haj operations and they have to shake up a few bee hives to correct some of them. I hope no one will ever have to experience haj as I did last season.

Night Before The Wukuf

Setting up  our own dinner for a little celebration before going to Arafat

Chicken mandy

Fruit salad made by Major Edi and family

we pooled together to buy some drinks and fruits as well

a bit of kambing also

Me, Ustaz and Abg Mat

Hj Zahar (in black) spent time buying all the stuff

Abg Ayob, Abg Suhaimi and wife

The ladies

Hjh Zainab(Major Edi's Mom) Hjh Arfah and Hjh Salwana

Major Edi (middle)

Our place in Mina

So What's for dinner?

Those with muasassah-TH will have this for dinner

I don't mind eating out of an aluminium container but can you give me a decent nasi and lauk. The only thing tht's good about it is the nice cover other than that it didn't taste like food. So don't judge it by its cover.

Daily Morning activities at Masjidil Haram

After Fajr prayers would be the most crowded time at the Kaabah courtyard. That 's the best time to do the tawaf--cool and refreshing. but when too many people trying to do it at the same time, the enjoyment turned into a big hassle.

Beautiful Dhuha sunshine at al Haram

Tawaf on the first floor

another view of tawaf crowd at the Kaabah

Hujjaj from India

The crowd got bigger and bigger

Doing Tawaf on the first would a bit easier but takes longer lime

Turkish ladies

Maqam Ibrahim

Day One- KLIA-Jeddah-Makkah

The journey was OK on a Saudi Airline. We were on the upper deck of B747—nothing special just less crowded. The journey took about 8 hours; it seems a long one but we mainly slept most of the time so it’s not so bad. They did not even put the movies on, buckeroo sungguh..but again pakcik makcik bakal haji don’t watch movies, right. So nothing much to do on this flight. I joined everyone and slept most of the way. Only to wake up whne they serve meals; one early into the flight and another one an hour before the landing. Which one was dinner and which one was a breakfast, I did not really care---airline food tastes the same regardless. With the iphone technology we managed to find the current time and place for Fajr prayers. It was over Kolkata, India when the Fajr Sidq was spotted. If you need more information on in-flight solat please go to zaharuddin.com where Ustaz Zaharuddin gives detail arguments on this issue. Tabung Haji practices “solat hormat waktu” for all the bakal haji; referring to doing the solat in your seat with or without wudhuk, facing to the front and then qadha it later on. I think that’s is too lenient for something very important such as solat.

In Jeddah

The Hajj terminal in Jeddah has changed since the last time we were here in 1998. During that time the ground was only a tarmac and with very minimal facilities. Everything has changed and beautifully renovated ( maybe not as much as KLIA but good enough to welcome these third world passengers). The immigration services has also improved with quick and pleasant hospitality.

The queue at the immigration check-point. We were through in less than half an hour.

The waiting area for those coming in from SE Asia and this part is for Malaysia. Quite comfortable and the toilet was clean too.

Into The Journey of a Lifetime (2)

Today is Friday; my last Friday before I shoot off to Mecca. The sermon was stale, tasteless as the hampas tebu outside the mosque. The young khatib read out the sermon like his form 3 presentation at school---I did not doze off but with that kind of sermon it was better off fly away with our thoughts to the never never land…..and date with Dorothy. I was excited really because earlier today I was given a clean bill of health by my doctor. I went for my final check-up and he was happy with my test result and of course I am happy too for myself. The adoption of strict regime of diet control and an array of medication have paid off. I pray to Allah for a continuous good health for the hajj.

I hope to finish up my packing by tonight. Nothing much really just to make sure that not a thing being left out. The news came in today that tabung haji can no longer transact money to bakal haji----those people are crazy and just to make things difficult for everybody because their banks would not get anything out of the transactions---and now they realize it and want the piece of the pie as well. But whatever it is most of us will have to carry a lot of cash. I did not get a chance to withdraw my money so I will go with whatever amount I have already, which is not that much. Mecca and Madinah are famous for shopping other than the places of worship----maybe this is not appropriate but some people can go @#$%! With the stuff and their price tags. Last time during the umrah trip a friend got a Rolex for under 2k, I have never seen a Rolex before so not sure that one was original or not, but I think so. I got a Rolex too for 50 rial, it’s broken and useless…what a waste. Can you fix it so the hand turns?, Nope! Said the Chinaman; why? ….. it’s fake, he said plainly. I hope I can control myself this time around and not too overly excited with shopping. No more fighting with Arab ladies and no more arguing with old makcik at the dining hall over a seat at the table. I will go with nothing to win, nothing to lose or nothing to fight for. I just want forgiveness from my Lord, a small space for my prayers, and a small opportunity to complete my hajj.

Another exciting stuff is food. Arabic cuisine is sumptuous, rich and superbly tasty, at least that’s what I think. Nothing close to the mandy dishes in Shah Alam. But to get one you have to fight your way in and beg to buy it like getting free stuff at a charity center, sometimes they just whuuuish you away with his Arabic or Turkish or whatever language that I knew it meant ---go away we are not selling! All the chicken burning in the oven and none for me…….hmmmm I just did not understand how these people work…….I mean buying food is not as simple as we used to in Malaysia, they have these weird ways of wheeling and dealing. Try buying food in a restaurant and you will know what I am talking about. But it was good I tell you. The cheap way around is to get yourself a big round of bread and eat it with butter or yogurt. I will try that this time around and see how long I can last. I don’t want to rely on food given by TH because you have to go back and forth for the meals and that means joining the big crowd every time you leave the mosque.
InsyaALlah, He will show the way……

Into The Journey of a Lifetime (1)

Days are counting down for my wife and I to go on that trip again. The hajj trip. It isn’t our first time but the excitement seems to be mounting on until it has started to become an anxiety. Long journeys make me sweating at night and nervous like the time tok mudin was about to cut off that part of my penis. The time I wished the world should spin faster and faster. The good news came in early Shawal through a phone call saying that our plea to go for hajj this year has been considered and there might be a couple of seats if we are interested. From that moment onwards I just could not stop thanking the Almighty Allah for His blessings upon us. Although this would not be our first trip to Mecca; the opportunity to go back to the holy land alone is unbelievably ecstatic. Maybe some of us who had been there would understand the feeling of joy and serenity for being there; the place where it  all started. Then the rush began to do medical check up, making sure the passport is still valid and attending all the courses required for all bakal haji (future hajj). With that little time and short notice we managed to get everything done including the Kursus Perdana (the one they gathered everyone from the whole state and do the practical part of hajj.) Well, everything is practical in hajj but the simulation during this kursus really gave experience to some especially how to handle one self and the other half with the huge crowd. I followed this kursus as closely as I could, when the tears could not stop flowing I know this trip would not be the same as the previous ones. As if my soul and my mind were so happy for having this chance again. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.

The medical report cleared me as a healthy bakal haji but I know it could turn otherwise in any moment of time. I pray to Allah for my wife and I to be healthy and strong throughout this trip. I went for a stress test and ran on that treadmill with my chest strapped down to a computer. I thought it was simple and easy ; but hey please don’t underestimate, the test was serious and strained your heart to the limit. The test started with an easy walk, then the speed was increased and the floor has slowly become an uphill track. I think the level was changed a few times during the test until I finally breathed through my nose and I was gulping for air to keep me running. Then it stopped at 98% performance with the blood pressure was clocked at 160/90 ( I don’t know why he did not go for 100% performance , the doctor never explained). I guess that’s good enough. The verdict was OK; my heart was able to function correctly with the pressure increases proportionately with the pace and came back down when the pace was slowed down. It’s supposed to function in that manner. However there is a slight abnormality (referred to as “borderline dilated”) of the heart due to my hypertension, it will take sometime to heal through medication, the doctor said. I am OK and feeling great so I hope will stay this way for a long time. But one thing I realize after that test is how vulnerable our heart really is. It’s soft and beating steadily 24/7; how come we don’t take a good care of it…someday it will stop beating you know. So I hope we can start now by eating well, exercise regularly and listen to our heart everyday. Every now and then let the doctor listen to the heart, he/she will tell you how healthy your heart is.

We also managed to do the khenduri as the way to tell everybody that we are going. I am not good at this really I mean I don’t know why I should let everybody know where I will be going—I will get nervous and all. But this time I just played along and invited everbody (well almost everybody). Only two out of all my 343 FB friends turned up.I guess it’s time to start a house cleaning and throw away some old furniture……hahahaha. Sorry bad joke!. They all sent me their well wishes instead, thank you all. It was a merry occasion, nonetheless, everyone in the neighborhood came over and wished my wife and I well. That’s all I asked for, I mean this is the first time we hold a khenduri since moving to this area about five years ago. I was happy to see them all. And I did not know that people give money too…..I felt so guilty as I never give money to people going haji…..I guess I should’ve learnt my lesson well.

My friends and colleague at the faculty have also conveyed their well wishes over and over again…until I decided to take an early cuti before the departure. People are so nice I really don’t know what/how to respond. I guess that’s our culture and traditions that our people have been practicing for a long time . Anyway, the preparation has come along very nicely I think. The work at the faculty has been handed over for the time, the classes have been rescheduled, the food has been stocked for a good one month or so, the kids are in order insyaAllah, the cars….well ..both are not well, one has a broken bearing and another a broken a/c compressor with a 3K price tag so let it be for a while, the cats have their food and litter box in order……..hmmmm..I guess that’s it…..I can start putting on the bracelet and try out the ihram cloth. It’s a bit tricky with the ihram cloth because you wear it without the underwear…..so you know….when my friend got breezy you will easily get a hard-on, an old man with his dick sticking out isn’t a pretty thing to see, need to practice so my friend will get used to without the undergarment. Things will be okay InsyaALlah.

To tell you the truth, I just can’t wait to get on that plane. I will be there for 44 days and that’s quite a long time to be away from everything back home. I don’t know what to expect…this time I really and completely leave everything to Allah.

LabbaikaALlah hummalabaik
Labbaikala syari kala kala baik
Innal hamda wa nikmata
La syarikalah

Moga Allah mempermudahkan segala urusan kami
Memberi kekuatan dan kesabaran mengharungi segala cabaran
Dengan hati yang tenang dan terbuka
Bersama jiwa yang bersyukur dan hati penuh taqwa
Kami datang ya Allah dalam keringat dosa
Mengharap keampunan dan kerahmatan Mu
Kami datang sebagai bukti hanya Mu Tuhan Maha Agung
Mengikut jejak amalan para rasul dan anbia
Mungkin pengorbanan ini kecil tapi inilah yang termampu
Terimalah doa dan pengorbanan ini Ya Allah
Dari insan kerdil yang berkelana di bumi Mu ini ………..

Umrah Trip 2009

Off to Madinah and Mecca for Umrah 29 May - 9 June 2009. Please doa for my family's safe journey and successful umrah.