at the crossroads

 

 

 

It was a fine morning. A start of another day and today is the beginning of October; the beginning of an end ( of the year 2013). My life has evolved around work; unfortunately. I was eager to perform well when I was appointed early this year. As a new kid on the block you would do anything possible to prove you are worthy of the post; as expected from a naïve new broom of the floor. I thought the task was mighty and highly complicated planning & strategizing the faculty but instead I was challenged with itsy bitsy office politics and mediocre human behavior. How I wish to go back and being a regular lecturer spending time with my students and correcting their papers.  I guess that’s all I want to do for the rest of my time here in this place. My research colleagues just dropped by to discuss about our long overdue research ; I really enjoyed our discussion. That’s something I’ve done a lot in the past but not anymore due to this managerial commitment. Busy for nothing. Why is it that day after day I feel unfortunate to be here and holding a post that is more like a trap.

 

Isn’t there a tiny weeny bit of enjoyment in doing this job? Well there is, alhamduliLlah. I love being with my students. They are like my kids of the same age. Same behavior and same “karenah”. So dealing with them is just like dealing with my own kids. The beauty of it all is that they seem not to mind at all. Sometime they listen sometime they do not; exactly like my kids. But whatever happened or said they never lose their respect to me, Alhamdulillah they are alright. Just like my own kids I love them very much. I enjoy being their company because, like all kids, they never expect perfection from me. I don’t have to act or perform anything, just being myself would be enough to claim my place within their circle. They do speak different language; though, which is sometime hard to pick up what they are talking about. The generation gap is so obvious I sometime wonder whether it is not too much to tag along  with the group. Most of the time they remind me of my time at their age; organizing events during my university days. Particularly when I was at Bradley University doing our Malaysian Night. But these students have some advanced skills in event management that surprised me and my colleague. The team work, innovative ideas to spice up the event, dealing with full protocol event, controlling the crowd  and making everyone involved  feels appreciated with whatever contribution they can give. I always wonder how they can pull it off knowing that majority of them is only in their first year.  I would do whatever I can to guide and help them keep up with their good work.

So do I want to lose that fantastic time with the students over some pathetic office politics ? I have to decide.