I came across a group of lady
lecturers today and all of the sudden one of them shhhhh me out. Everyone just
stopped talking and looked at me in a
very strange manner—the subject changed immediately. It followed with a fake
greeting and forced smiles. I was stunned at first and disappointed throughout.
Never really get into the conversation and hurriedly left them alone. So that
was it--- my first sshhh-gesture. I am trying to comprehend the whys and the
hows of this gesture. A lot of questions suddenly converged to cushion the crashing
impact of such a simple gesture.
When I was a school kid I used to
do that to our teacher—ssshhhh…cikgu datang! And everyone just rushed to their
seat and pretended to read a book or something. An act displayed out of fear
and guilt. Fear of any punishment due to some guilty actions that we had done. A
childish reaction, I must say. But adult do that as well, is it due to the same
circumstances? I guess we inherited that
from our childhood that has become a norm or common reaction to such situation. The sad thing is for not being
sensitive to the other party that might have a hard time to swallow the bitter
message that was thrown to his face. And of course we do it for the boss as
well, I mean, as his subjects I guess we feel to have a god-given right to be
mad at the boss. Even if he has done absolutely
nothing to intimidate our integrity or our intelligence, we still do it
to him. And the boss on the other hand would do whatever task to deliver
feeling that it is his god-given trust to uphold the responsibility. The feeling
is reciprocal and the hostility is mutual. And the vicious cycle continues. We suffer
due to our own brutal egoism.
So the boss is someone to be left
alone and never dare to be close with. We feel awkward whenever the boss is
close around. I can’t really tell them what to do—to hate or to like me---it is
something I have to earn. Well, I can understand that much. But for them to be
cautious for I might bite them off is just too much. And I don’t really
understand why anyone would do that, I, for one, would approach my boss without
any pretext just a bit careful not to cross the line.
I guess I have a long way to go.
Maybe a lot more challenges are lined up ahead of me. Some decisions that will
disturb a sleep of a mighty lion/lioness. Would that be a good time to be friend
of a boss? It’d break a heart and things will become very complicated. Should
it be that hard? I don’t really know but I am sure don’t want it to be that way. If the thing is hard then
everyone should feel the burden and we will go through it together, you and I.
We will face it with our heads up high and our hearts tied up to the promises
of God that He will help us through this. Maybe if people understand this;
things will be much easier to handle. iA He will show the way.
