Running out of time

“CePat sikit, kita dah lewat….” my favorite morning call for my kids to hurry up with whatever they’re doing and get into the car. It is early in the morning and they’re still sleepy and slow moving…making me more upset. The thing is I am not good in getting people up and do something .Being bossy is the last thing I will make myself do even with my own children. The only way I know to make someone else listen to me is to turn myself into “an incredible hulk”---the green man that looks so mean. It works with my children (well some of them anyway) but of course never with other people. But now I am tired of being green; it just turns the people off. So nowadays I am more relax; more looking at myself rather than other people.  I saw a male student earlier today with make-up and sissy t-shirt……you know what --I am not going after him and lecture him about not being so pondan and follow the proper dress code…I am not gonna get angry over this anymore  that will ruin my day…I’ve had enough, if he wants to be Victoria Beckham instead of David Beckham then the hell with it. Anyway, I don’t want to  talk about sissy students or my compulsive anger ;today I want to talk about time. The time  that I always don’t seem to have.

Just-in-time, overtime, half-time, full-time or no time seem to push me around these days. I can’t be late for whatever reason or whatever event. The term ”better late than never”  has never been in my vocabulary. I am more into “better skip it than being late”. That’s why I don’t plan much of things around me; afraid of being late. Maybe people don’t even care of me being late but I do. I would lose my sleep for thinking about it. If the event is seven days away then I will keep thinking, thinking and thinking about it for the whole seven days. At the end of it I feel stressed and tensed. Nowadays my wife likes to plan our holidays 6-7 months ahead of time (to get the cheap airfares), and I would be miserable for the whole time and by the time we get to the airport I would be exploded with anxieties and ruined the whole trip.  No more bad holidays, I’ll just stay out of it. If I need to go then I just go without making myself miserable with the process of going. So for me it is more of “spontaneous” trip…..the last minute one.

So going here and there seems to take much of my time, plus the unforgivable traffics that will make my day a truly memorable one.  I don’t know why am I complaining…..I got myself into this so better buck up. Maybe just tired and need some rest. “Hectic” has a lot to with commitments and life is full of commitments without which life is nothing. But as you go on living and reach the other side of the hill, you’ve sort of chosen your own path in life. It might be great or might not be great, and soon enough you don’t give  a damn how it would turn out because at the end of it, it’s just you who will take the fall.

I wish the day was longer

I wish the people were friendlier

I wish the sky was always beautiful

I wish the wind blew softly

I wish happiness grew on trees

I wish tears were diamonds

I wish  time went back and forth

But they aren’t…..life is just like that

But life can also be beautiful again.